My husband and I will have been married for 9 years this September. Where did the time go? During the past decade we’ve watched many marriages struggle or even end. Some couples were married for a shorter period of time than us, many of them for much longer. The divorce rate continues to climb, maybe even especially among Christians. The majority of society seem to see marriage as more of an inconvenience than a commitment since it will most likely end eventually anyway.
A Firm Foundation
So why not us? Why not you? What’s to stop each of us from becoming a statistic? Well, I believe there are many things that contribute to a happy and lasting marriage. First of all, a foundation of God as your center, holding you both together, is essential. A three stranded cord is not easily broken. If each of you is seeking God first, you will never be shaken, regardless of life’s storms and challenges. I’m not claiming to have this all figured out or to be any better than someone who has suffered the misfortune of a marriage ending. Sometimes, people change and make choices that are beyond your control. Or maybe they didn’t change, but you were deceived as to who they really were when you married them. Those things happen and life has taught me that things like relationships are never as black and white as I would like for them to be. But I do know that keeping the main thing (God) the main thing will keep you together.
In addition to that, I have decided that my number one secret to a happy marriage is – laughter. Maybe that seems counter-intuitive. I mean, if you’re going to laugh, you have to first be happy, right? Think back to when you first got together and you were really, completely, utterly happy. Didn’t you laugh together? What did you laugh about? Anything, right?! Everything gives you the giggles when you’re giddy in love.
How Do You Keep Laughing?
But with the passage of time, that giddy feeling sometimes fades. Real life hits and you may have financial struggles, stress from your job, sleepless nights with your children, life threatening illness, the passing of loved ones, any number of challenges that life may bring. How do you laugh in the midst of such trial and tribulation? What about when all of those cute little quirks about your spouse become annoyances? How do you laugh instead of glare across the room at them as they eat potato chips in the noisiest way possible? (Not saying I’ve ever experienced this, of course, but I mean, just a for instance…ahem.)
How can you NOT laugh in the midst of all these things? When you can look life full in the face with a committed partner by your side and laugh together, you have found true happiness. If you don’t have someone by your side whom you can consider first your friend, you must foster that friendship. We all want passion and romance in our life partner for sure! There’s definitely a place for that in a happy, healthy marriage. But when the car breaks down in the middle of a rainstorm, don’t you want to be able to look over at your partner and laugh about how ridiculous you both look drenched from the rain? When you feel fat and ugly and your husband makes you laugh with some crazy comment about how he’d “still hit that” you know you’ve found true love.
Laughter = Confidence
Laughter comes from a confidence in the person you are linked with for life and the relationship that you share together. Keeping a sense of humor about life will keep you strong not only in relationships, but even on your own. Maybe you find yourself today at the end of a relationship. Maybe you don’t feel much like laughing about anything right now. Take heart. You will laugh again. And I hope and pray that you find happiness in all the trivialities of life with someone who will live to make you laugh.
Couples 1-2-3 Tag!
Here’s a little something extra for you that I thought might be fun. My husband and I took the Couples 1-2-3 Tag challenge and filmed a video to share it with you! It was very revealing. Ha! Try some of these questions with your significant other. You just might learn something new and I guarantee you’ll share a few laughs.